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Joke topic!

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Re: Joke topic!

Post by A Walrus on Sun Aug 05, 2012 4:51 pm

In German the one with the two hunters is even better. Razz The word for striking and meeting is the same ... Razz
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Re: Joke topic!

Post by ApplesApplesApples on Mon Aug 06, 2012 1:31 am

Yeah. German joke: treffen sich zwei leute, kommt einer nicht.
(two ppl meet, one doesnt come.)
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Re: Joke topic!

Post by RAW Watchguard on Mon Aug 06, 2012 6:21 am

I wish I was German. Then I could be the ACTUAL Medic. Razz

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Re: Joke topic!

Post by cBm on Fri Aug 10, 2012 8:27 pm

A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is done, the bartender tells him he owes $9.00.

"But I paid, don't you remember?" says the customer.

"Okay," says the bartender, "If you said you paid, you did."

The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid.

The second man then rushes in, orders a beer and later pulls the same stunt.

The barkeep replies, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it."

Soon the customer goes into the street, sees an old friend, and tells him how to get free drinks.

The man hurries into the bar and begins to drink a ton when, suddenly, the bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in the nose."

"Don't bother me with your troubles," the final customer responds. "Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."

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The lemur.... It's earthbending!


In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

"Ten percent of nuthin' is...let me do the math here...nuthin' into nuthin'...carry the nuthin'..."



Hammond: "Colonel, the United States is not in the business of interfering in other people's affairs!"
Jack: "...Since when?"
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Re: Joke topic!

Post by ApplesApplesApples on Sat Aug 11, 2012 6:36 am

moderately funny. history lesson joke:
What was the ruler of Russia called?
The tsar.
Correct, and is wife?
Tsarina.
Correct. And his children?
Tsardines. Razz
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Re: Joke topic!

Post by cBm on Sun Nov 17, 2013 8:54 am

A blonde called her boyfriend and said "I'm having trouble with this jigsaw puzzle. Please come over here and help me… I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”

Her boyfriend asked, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde said, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and said, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.”

He took her hand and said, “Second, I want you to relax… Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then…”

He sighed, “let’s put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.”

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The lemur.... It's earthbending!


In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

"Ten percent of nuthin' is...let me do the math here...nuthin' into nuthin'...carry the nuthin'..."



Hammond: "Colonel, the United States is not in the business of interfering in other people's affairs!"
Jack: "...Since when?"
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Re: Joke topic!

Post by Alpha56 on Sun Nov 17, 2013 1:31 pm

What's the difference between a park bench and a professional writer?

The bench can support a small family.

How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Sorry, that's a hardware problem.

Guy 1:Knock, knock.
Guy 2:Who's there?
Guy 1:Impatient Owl.
Guy 2:Impatient Owl -
Guy 1:HOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Re: Joke topic!

Post by cBm on Thu Feb 13, 2014 10:55 pm

Sam walks into his boss’ office. “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.”
After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5 percent raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave.
“By the way”, asks the boss as Sam is getting up, “which three companies are after you?”
“The electric company, water company, and phone company”, Sam replied.

_________________


The lemur.... It's earthbending!


In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

"Ten percent of nuthin' is...let me do the math here...nuthin' into nuthin'...carry the nuthin'..."



Hammond: "Colonel, the United States is not in the business of interfering in other people's affairs!"
Jack: "...Since when?"
avatar
cBm
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Posts : 4376
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Re: Joke topic!

Post by cBm on Wed May 21, 2014 9:35 pm

A gorilla walks into a bar, and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender finds this very peculiar, and realizes he is dreaming. He then wakes up and tells his wife about the ridiculous dream he just had. His wife ignores him, he rolls over and starts to sob because he knows his marriage is in shambles.

_________________


The lemur.... It's earthbending!


In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

"Ten percent of nuthin' is...let me do the math here...nuthin' into nuthin'...carry the nuthin'..."



Hammond: "Colonel, the United States is not in the business of interfering in other people's affairs!"
Jack: "...Since when?"
avatar
cBm
Admin

Posts : 4376
Reputation : 47
Join date : 2012-01-11
Age : 20
Location : Everywhere....... Mwahahahaha.....

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Re: Joke topic!

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